I am still very new, very fresh, the ink on my letter of medical control is still drying. I am ready for whatever may be thrown at me, ready to jump into the unknown, waiting for the big one, aching for another tube... instead I have found myself fighting pure boredom, listening to others do the "Good" calls.
I have been out on my own for just over a month and a 1/2 now and I have felt as If I have seen nothing and that I have accomplished little. Sure I have done the shooting, the stabbings, the acute MI, the acute respiratory distress, But I have been waiting for the Cardiac Arrest, waiting for the heart pounding anxiety, the dance around death, the indescribable feeling of a successful intubation except to those who have done it and yearn for another. I have listened to other Paramedics go out on Cardiac Arrest calls, heard of a coworker and classmate doing back to back Cardiac Arrests, and I felt as if I have been sitting on the bench and waiting for my chance to get in the big game.
I received a letter this week from a Patient I had recently treated. While I won't go into details of the call for confidentiality reasons. This was one of those routine ALS calls, where I felt I barely made a difference. I put the Patient on the monitor, ran a 12 lead, started an IV which I think I even missed the first time, and gave them some oxygen. I felt like a machine on this call, I felt that I was doing what an EMT could do with less training then I had. What I hadn't realized is that during this call, the way I talked to my Patient and explained everything, the calm cool demeanor in which I performed my skills, and the simple act of giving up the pillow from my stretcher to this patient made all the difference in the world to them. They didn't care that I wasn't pushing medications, performing life saving interventions, I did a job that they respected and thought was under recognized. They appreciated what I had done and they made it known by writing a letter to thank me for the treatment I had given them, because to them I did everything right and the best I could and made them comfortable in the midst of their emergency.
This letter has adjusted my outlook and feelings at work, I am trying to embrace the routine. Another local Paramedic recently asked how one can learn to deal with the routine and asked for other Paramedics input and advice:
Baby Medic: The Routine
For me a simple thank you has worked wonders, I realize that as minor and boring as the routine may be, to our patients it is a significant time in their lives, and the way we treat our "routine" ALS patient makes a difference in their lives and their perspective of EMS. While yes I still yearn for the "Big one" for now I am just grateful for the opportunity to make a difference in a life as little as it may be, even if its just a warm hand to hold. It is these moments that I got in this job for, to make a difference.
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It is very heartwarming and reassuring to receive thanks, especially from the 'routine' calls. I've never received a letter but have been thanked profusely by patient and family for something that amounted to no more than a ride to the hospital. Albeit that's the exception.
I'm probably about six months behind you; I'll be done with paramedic clinicals soon, and that's the last great hurdle. As an EMT responding to calls with a medic, I, too yearn for something challenging to occur. More often than not, though, it doesn't.
I'm spending my free time while @ the station studying for the registry test, reviewing my clinical contacts, etc. I've also decided to spend more time blogging, having created a new one that's more removed from my personal life. I've trying my hand @ photography lately, too.
For now, this stuff has helped keep my mind off what's not happening; it's helped to fill the void.
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