Coming Together

In the past 2 weeks I feel as if I've begun to make noticeable progress in becoming a Paramedic. I have been to Red Pod at HHED more then I remember and count, the staff is recognizing me as a Paramedic and not an EMT now as I continue to make the transition. I have continued to do routine ALS and BLS calls, and I have seen critical patients now. I have struggled with getting IV access and beat myself up over it to only watch the staff in the ED have to resort to Central Lines or getting a line with ultrasound. I got my first pre-hospital Adult Cardiac Arrest and my first field intubation and first intubation since my OR time last May. The feeling of that first Code, that first tube, the first time you shock someone, is indescribable, but those who have been there know it, and crave it as do I now. I crave my next tube, my next code, its still so fresh and new to me that it still excites me and I hope it will the rest of my career. The slim chance of making a difference, the feeling of getting pulses back and fighting to keep them, the chance to some day see that person walking down the street again, that is after all what we got into EMS for right?

I continue to gain more confidence and get more comfortable with my skills and knowledge, sure I have a long way to go still, more to learn, and more to do, but for now I'm happy where I am and where I'm going. Out of all the feelings and emotions I have gone through in the past few months as you have read, the best feeling was my preceptor giving me the chance to tech a routine ALS diabetic on my own while he rode up front, sure it was as routine as it could get, the nursing home pretty much fixed her believe it or not before we arrived, but it was still something I was doing by myself and I soaked it up and loved every second of it.

For now I will get in the truck and continue to do my best, continue to learn, crave my next tube, my next code, and hope for trauma the one thing I've yet to see while precepting.

Getting Comfortable

Growing up as a kid and learning to ride a bike your often told that once you fall off, you've just gotta get right back on and do it again, eventually it will come natural, and years later you can just get right back on after years of being off and still do it, a little shaky at first but you'll succeed. This idea rang into my head as i drove away from work Sunday morning after a busy Saturday night in the city. I realized that I had fallen off from precepting for a while, I had lost interest, I had doubted my career tract and the direction my life was going in. However I was determined to give it a go, I mean after all I just put myself through a year of medic school hell I can't give up that easily. I realized that now after a few shifts back on the road, I'm getting back into the game, I feel my head is in the right place again and its back to business.

Things are starting to come together and its starting to feel more and more natural to me, now I'm not going to sit here and say I'm no longer nervous that would be a lie, but its starting to feel more comfortable. I'm finding myself getting more comfortable with the "Routine ALS" calls and nervously waiting and anticipating the more mind numbing challenges of the aggressive ALS calls. My skills are improving, during my clinical time in the ED I was fairly successful with my IV's, I didn't have too hard of a time, this has not been the case so far in the back of the ambulance. My success rate has been poor and everyone trys to cheer me up except my preceptor naturally. Everyone talks about bad streaks of success rates and that everyones misses, sure its true but during precepting this should be my time to be successful and prove myself so its been a burden I've carried. I've sat in the back of the truck and tried to figure out exactly why I've been doing wrong with our catheters, these are a style I've never used before and I feel its all in my grip. So Saturday night I adjusted my grip, while it feels a little akward I pulled off 100% of my IV's, sure I may have caused a blood bath inside an Apt because of a poor tamponade technique but hey I got the IV and pushed the meds I needed to, now I just need to work on doing it cleaner haha!

So all and all things are on a much better track, In a sense of the analogy I have gotten back on my bike and I am peddling away, it feels natural, its getting comfortable, and I look forward to the challenges ahead, I look forward to finally becoming a good medic.